mercredi 22 novembre 2017

Jim Carrol- Patti was complaining to me that she couldn't get another reading at the Poetry Project-you know, "They're just jealous, everybody liked me that night," which I think was true. So the next reading I had I told them that I wanted to do a reading with Patti. The day of the reading I was in Rye, New York, staying at my friend Willie's house, who was a character in The Basketball Diaries. Willie was like one of the few heads in that area, and that morning the fucking sheriff of Rye decides he's gonna pull a bust on him. I just happened to be there when they raided his house at dawn. The only thing they found were hash pipes with residue, but they brought us in for that. We had to go to the jail there-but I ordered one of the best meals I ever had from this Italian restaurant, and then they took us down to White Plains to book us, but then the judge threw it out. By then it was around midnight. Fortunately we didn't have to spend the night in jail. But it wasn't that bad, for jail, it was kinda nice, actually. But I had missed the reading. Nobody knew where I was, and Patti got up to read and kind of prefaced her reading with, "Well, we all know that Jim has his problems ... " But I think that Anne Waldman and everybody at the Poetry Project were really pissed-you know, "Jim's just so unreliable!" 
So Patti said something like, "You love the fact that he's a rebel, but when it gets in your face and bothers you, then you don't like it so much do you? Well, I say, Here's to ]im Carroll ... " But it also gave her the whole show, so she could dig that. I was good enough to get busted and give her twice as much air time. 
Patti Smith: The St. Mark's poets are so namby-pamby, they're frauds, they write about, "Today at 9:15, I shot speed with Brigid ..." They're real cute about putting it in a poem, but if Jim Carroll comes into the church stoned and throws up, that's not a poem to them-that's not cool. If you could play with it in your poetry, that's okay, but if you're really with it, that's something else-they don't want to face it. Jim Carroll was the St. Mark's Poetry Project's chance to have something real among them. Jim Carroll is one of America's true poets. I mean, he is a true poet. He's a junkie. He's bisexual. He's been fucked by every male and female genius in America. He's been fucked over by all those people. He lives all over. He lives a disgusting life. Sometimes you have to pull him out of a gutter. He's been in prison. He's a total fuck-up. But what great poet wasn't? It kills me that at twenty-three Jim Carroll wrote all his best poems-the same year of his life as Rim baud did. He had the same intellectual quality and bravado as Rimbaud. But they blackballed him because he fucked up. He didn't come to his poetry reading. He was in jail. Good for him. They said, "Oh well, we can't ask him to do poetry readings anymore." It was ridiculous. 
You have to be totally honest with yourself. Totally honest. Completely honest with yourself to see the way you’ve been carrying on. To see how your thoughts have been ruling you. Your mind has been telling you: ‘This is like this and this is like that. This is good, this is bad. This is right, this is wrong’. Being judgmental all the time, this is what has to be given up, totally and completely.

Robert Adams

mardi 21 novembre 2017

When many of the old saints and sages say, “Your world is a dream. You’re living in an illusion,” they’re referring to this world of the mind and the way we believe our thoughts about reality. When we see the world through our thoughts, we stop experiencing life as it really is and others as they really are. When I have a thought about you, that’s something I’ve created. I’ve turned you into an idea. In a certain sense, if I have an idea about you that I believe, I’ve degraded you. I’ve made you into something very small. This is the way of human beings, this is what we do to each other.

I will point to my scars constantly and remind you that they are what wake me up and renew my desire to live.

Diane Wakoski

American novelist Ernest Hemingway presents Fidel Castro with a trophy after he won the individual championship in The Ernest Hemingway International Billfishing Tournament on May 15, 1960. Castro caught five fish weighing 286 pounds to take the crown.

lundi 20 novembre 2017

dimanche 19 novembre 2017

And what do you say to those who have given up hope?

I would try to comfort people who are depressed, demoralized and disillusioned by coming into contact with the stark reality of the human condition by proposing that their distress and discomfort is very real and should not be stifled by drugs, alcohol, shopping or watching television.
I think, the joy and exuberance that comes with the full appreciation of life requires that we also accept that tragedy is inevitable. Suffering from time to time will also befall us. I guess my own idiosyncratic psychological recipe is to accept like the downside of life while being just humbly grateful for the ultimate privilege, which is just to have been here at all. You know, none of us chose to be born. And a little bit of DNA one way or another and we’d be lima beans or chimps or potted plants. And personally, I’m just profoundly grateful that I got my stint. You get to carry the baton once around the track of life, and I’d rather do that as a human than as a lizard or a potato.

Emma Parker
My other concern has to do with the more material consequences of the way that we conduct ourselves as a culture … when you take a free-market, capital-based economy where the goal is to make as much cash as possible and you juxtapose that with the Judeo-Christian worldview — 'God created us in His image and then put everything here for us to use at our leisure’ … that has given us license to turn the world into a giant Bic lighter, to use at our will and to dispose of accordingly … 

I don’t think it’s overly histrionic to note that Americans are responsible for a scandalous amount of environmental destruction and that we use a disproportionate amount of non-renewable resources and that we seem to do so in cavalier disregard of the fact that this is highly problematic and completely contrary to world opinion … 

It’s only, I think, a naïve, death-denying creature that can, with a straight face, say 'we’ve got plenty of food, plenty of air, plenty of water — let’s keep cutting down the rainforest, let’s keep peeing in the pool, and let’s keep puking toxic waste into the atmosphere because the economy needs to keep growing.’  Ironically, the economy is an abstraction, whereas the physical world that we undermine in pursuit of [economic growth] is quite real.

To all the heartbroken ones, the misunderstood ones.
To all you misfits, outcasts, freaks, and worldly
To the ones they jeer at, poke, ridicule, and crucify.
To all you lonely disillusioned poets and mad
To those whose worlds are falling apart.
To those who have sought the Light for so long yet
still feel far away.
To those whose unshakable absolutes have dissolved
into the relative.
To those whose hearts are burning up.
To those whose dreams have crumbled to the ground.
To those who have given everything for truth.
To those who have taken the path of crucifixion over
the path of worldly comfort.
To all of you out there in the dark.
I salute you.

There is such dignity in what you are going through.
Life has called you to the deepest kind of trust in
your own experience.
Do not turn away.
This is your unique invitation.
From the cosmic perspective,
nothing has gone wrong.
Only the false can die.
From the perspective of the heart, 
it is always a brand new day.
Your beauty lies in your willingness to break.
I walk with you,
my perfectly broken family

La tentation
Gabriele Basilico

Scott Campbell
‘Things Get Better’ series, 2013

samedi 18 novembre 2017

It’s very simple, child. You are vast, like the sky. You have light and dark in you. If you fight the dark within, you tear yourself asunder, split yourself in two. Don’t begin a holy war within, my precious one. Love the dark in yourself! Honour it. Hold it gently. Flood it with the light of love. Illuminate those wounded parts, those sore and tender regions of your ancient heart. The darkness within you only longs for the light, and the light within you longs to touch the darkness. Fulfil an ancient promise to illuminate an entire cosmos…

Jeff Foster

Why does it often take extreme life situations to bring back an awareness of the magic and mystery of life? Why do we often wait until we’re about to die before discovering a deep gratitude for life as it is? Why do we exhaust ourselves seeking love, acceptance, fame, success, or spiritual enlightenment in the future? Why do we work or meditate ourselves into the grave? Why do we postpone life? Why do we hold back from it? What are we looking for exactly? What are we waiting for? What are we afraid of? Will the life we long for really come in the future? Or is it always closer than that?

Jeff Foster
Sometimes, even with the best of intentions and hard work, your life doesn’t go the way you had hoped or planned or dreamed.

Your heart is broken. You cry with disappointment. There’s a raw, shaky feeling in the gut. An old feeling of dread comes to visit, a familiar sense of cosmic abandonment.

“I screwed up.”

In the midst of your pain, you are tempted to turn against the world, or yourself. Blame someone. Attack someone. Seek revenge, retribution. Or attack yourself, with addictive behaviour. Quick, numb the pain. Drink something, eat something, buy something, try not to feel something.

You label yourself as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘broken’. You call yourself a ‘failure’, a 'waste of space’, words you learned when you were young. And then your mind spins off into the future. Not only a day of failure, today, but years of failure to come. A lifetime of failure, ending in death.

You’ve abandoned the present moment and been pulled into a dualistic narrative of past and future, success and failure, right and wrong, good and bad.

But the words are not the thing. So here’s an invitation. Slow down. Get curious.
Invite open, curious attention to drop into the present moment. Can you allow yourself to become fascinated with the actual feeling of failure? How do you know this is failure? Where in the body do you feel it? Come back to the shaky, raw feeling, the visceral hurt that’s alive right now. Come back to the nausea, the heaviness, the pressure, the sinking feeling in the belly. Just for a moment, don’t run away or numb yourself from these movements. Get curious about the sensations here. Give them space; let them dance, move. Don’t distract yourself from these precious part of you. They simply long for loving attention right now.

You are leaving the heavy storyline of 'me and my failure’. You are showing up for life; connecting with yourself at a moment when you need your own tenderness more than ever.

And out of the rubble of shattered expectations, a new and different life may grow. You may be shaky, broken open; your heart may feel tender and raw; your certainties may have crumbled to dust, but you are alive, and willing to feel what needs to be felt. And your greatest failure may turn out to be your greatest beginning, the time when you learned more about yourself than ever, the scene of the movie where you discovered humility, courage, and radical self-love.

Stay close; you cannot fail.

Jeff Foster
John Giorno

Lose a few friends.
Offend a few people.
Say no if you mean no.
Say yes if you mean yes.
Nice little boys and girls
never win mommy’s love anyway.
They only become beggars.
Stop trying to do it right.
Do it real instead.
You don’t have to win love.
Only live it.
Weep. Wail. Laugh like you did when you were young and didn’t care what people thought about you.
Speak your truth without apology.
Let your heart break.
Let your certainties crumble.
Be a blubbering mess on the ground of love.
Life is too short to hold it all together.
You have longed to fall apart.
You will lose ‘safety’
but you will feel
so alive.

Jeff Foster

Abundance is not the money you have in your bank account, the trophies on your shelf, the letters after your name, the list of goals reached, the number of people you know, your perfect, healthy body, your adoring fans. Abundance is your connection to each breath, how sensitive you are to every flicker of sensation and emotion in the body. It is the delight with which you savor each unique moment, the joy with which you greet each new day. It is knowing yourself as presence, the power that creates and moves worlds. It is your open heart, how deeply moved you are by love every day, your willingness to embrace, to hold what needs to be held. It is the freshness of each morning unencumbered by memory or false hope. Abundance is the feeling of the afternoon breeze on your cheeks, the sun warming your face. It is meeting others in the field of honesty and vulnerability, connecting beyond the story, sharing what is alive. It is your rootedness in the present moment, knowing that you are always Home, no matter what happens, no matter what is gained or lost. It is touching life at the point of creation, never looking back, feeling the belly rise and fall, thanking each breath, giving praise to each breath. It is falling to your knees in awe, laughing at the stories they tell about you, sinking more deeply into rest. Abundance is simplicity. It is kindness. It is you, before every sunrise: fresh, open, and awake. You are rich, friend! You are rich!

Jeff Foster
The Way of Rest: Finding The Courage to Hold Everything in Love
stealing books is bad
 Dada Magazine 1919
Jean Arp

vendredi 17 novembre 2017

The more you try to fix it, the more you reinforce the belief that it’s broken. This simple understanding will save your life.

Jeff Foster

jeudi 16 novembre 2017

 Morris Huberland
Human ladder, East Side, NYC, 1940s
That’s why so many of the great spiritual teachers have said that there is nothing to know. In order to be free, in order to be enlightened, there is absolutely nothing to know, and there is no enlightenment as long as you think you know something. As soon as you absolutely know that you don’t know anything and there is absolutely nothing to know, that state is called enlightenment because all there is is being. When there is Oneness, who is the One going to know about?